What life has taught me so far.......

Been thinking about life in general and I have summed up the various life lessons I have learnt. 
1. Never cry over spilled milk,  when things happen to us that we don't expect,  yes the first initial reaction is to cry and wonder why it happened to us.  But for me,  I have accepted events as things that only happen for a reason,  and a life lesson for us. 
2. Be happy; life is too short to be unhappy and have an ugly frown on your face all the time be happy and enjoy the best of your  days on earth.
3. Not everyone would like you; ahhhh the biggest one.  I used to try so hard to make the world like me,  but I got tired doing that,  and it also weighed me down more than before.  So I had to stop pleasing people and just be me.  The world requires that u become someone else,  but I say be ur self always. 
4. Sometimes it is good to act like a kid again.  Go back to that memory of way back when u had no worries in the world (kids don't think about bills or all the stuffs grown ups think about) , they are free and happy. 
5.  This should have been the first on the list.  In all and in all God is always first.  If you include him to your plans all will be just alright. 

Project Overcomers

It has been a long while since I posted anything on my blog. Been quite busy with academics,  full time job with a full time life. But today, I decided to write something that came to me on Sunday evening. This past Sunday (Nov 3rd, 2013) after a long day from work and church, and being exhausted, I decided to go on Instagram, and I saw a picture of a beautiful Lady in a wheel chair. First I thought it was an ordinary chair, but I decided to look further; it was actually a wheel chair. Then I decided to do some further investigations. I clicked on her instagram handle and I saw all her pictures, and then I remembered years ago, I read her story of how she got into a car accident. While looking at her pictures, what went through my mind was "How did she do it?" That was all I was saying to myself. How did this young woman do it? Smiling, and she looking so gorgeous and happy. I also found out that she was able to finish her Nursing degree. I wanted to reach out to her to ask her my questions. Then something told me to start something, called "Project Overcome". At first I was skeptical and I said to myself no one  would take me serious. But after having a conversation with a friend, I decided to go ahead with it, because great things starts with something as LITTLE as an idea.
It is simple, the process of this project is for people who have been through various struggles and pain, and they have a reason to smile and they have gained the title "OVER COMERS". It is not a contest, but it is a way to encourage others out there who have been through the same issues as you, but didn't know how to handle it or even overcome it. The main reason why I think this project is important is for people to come out of their closets of fear of what people might think of them or what the world things. The main purpose is to help those who are currently facing a difficult time in their lives right now and need some form of encouragements to help them move on.
I am an over comer, and I am still over coming certain things in my life as I speak. But I can beat my chest and say that I have been through hell in my life and back. Some of the issues were hand made by me (Yes, sometimes we create our downfalls and problems), but some were some circumstances that we just found ourselves in that we couldn't control.
Not to bore any one reading this, if you know anyone or you call yourself an over-comer, you can send your emails to me at sarah.k.nwosu@gmail.com, and it will be published on my blog. I know so many people would prefer some privacy, I respect that. No names at all will be mentioned, but it is for you to help others and also encourage someone who may be experiencing what you have been through.

Making progress

So thanks to my lifestyle upgrade, I have lost some weight not much but some, I have reached my goal of dropping my blood sugar from the high100s to the low 100s. For the first time in a long time, my blood glucose level was 98 yesterday Fasting.... yayyyyyyy... and I maintained it to 106 tonight. Making good progress. I am going to fight this no matter what. 

Who says loosing weight was easy?

Haba... I don try ooo. I was so inactive yesterday. I didnt even workout at all. Plus I had ice cream (eyes closed). But I burnt it all today sha. So getting this body ready to be fit for life...

#CHILDNOTWIFE

I was once a Nigerian teenager. I was once 13. Naive, flat chested and confused. I believed that if I was touched by a boy I would get pregnant. I was allowed to grow up and experience my teenage years. 

I was once 13. 

Looking forward to being 13. Because that is the beginning of your teenage years. 

The early stage of womanhood.

I prayed to get noticed by boys of my age. 

I was once 13 

I was once confused even after 13 

Can we let our children grow up and not become brides?

Can we have a government that speaks up for its citizens?

What happened to "CHILDREN BEING THE LEADERS OF TOMORROW?"

PLEASE LET OUR CHILDREN GROW UP TO BECOME HIGH SCHOOL GRADS, 

COLLEGE GRADS, MOTHERS AT THE RIGHT AGE.

END THIS ACT AND CHANGE THE LAW. 

WHY SHOULD WE ALLOW PEDOPHILES MAKE CHILD LAWS FOR US. 

#CHILDNOTWIFE

Give our Girls Pens not Penis. Education not Ejaculation. Protection not Penetration, Dictionaries not Dicks! She's a ‪#‎ChildNotBride‬ .Defend them not defile them! Give them Panadol not Postinor! Give them Ben 10 not round 10.....Help protect the girl child from pedophiles!!

U.S to give Nigeria 73 million dollars for malaria prevention

How come im just seeing this? This is good but hope the money will be used for what it says ooo. Because I know where im from. They no dey see money without commoting their eyes. I really hope malaria gets erradicated in Nigeria. The prevalence of malaria in Nigeria is about 100 million cases a year with 300,000 deaths a year. I really pray this works. Fingers crossed. .....

Willpower

My daily devotion for yesterday had the topic  titled willpower.  I did not read the devonational till this morning as I caught up with my missed bible readings. Anyways after reading the message from Jim I was inspired to keep moving ahead and also be positive. So no more ice cream. by the way I had 2 cone chocolate and vanilla carmel ice cream Friday night and another yesterday.  Not healthy at all.
Here is an excerpt from Jim's blog. Hope u learn something from it. I did
WILLPOWER

The concept of willpower is easier to grasp when you understand its scriptural basis. The Greek word for “will” in the Bible is often translated as “desire.” It’s the idea that we can achieve a goal when our true desires match our objective. That meaning is drawn from the very nature of God. As a perfect and sinless Being, the Lord is free of inner conflict, so whatever He wills comes to pass.
But we humans struggle greatly with inner conflict, don’t we? And that often places our desires in direct conflict with our goals. "Take exercise as an example. We may wish to lose twenty pounds, but if what we truly desire is to eat ice cream every night, we’ll soon find our willpower breaking down with a spoon in one hand and a banana split in the other". The reality is our wishes are never strong enough to overcome our true desires for very long.

The solution, then, is to ask God to help us understand the inner areas that hold sway over our desires. So – back to the weight loss example for a moment – after examining our motivations, we may discover we eat junk food to pacify emotional pain that’s never healed. If that’s the case, then to the degree we find healing for that inner struggle and resolve it, the need to cover the pain will, likewise, go away.

So whether it’s weight loss, a better marriage, or letting go of that bad habit, are you relying on willpower to achieve your goals? If so, you may have to put in some work to get your true desires to align with your objectives. That will certainly include seeking God in prayer, and it may even require the listening ear of a friend or, if the hurt is deep enough, the guidance of a counselor. But if you stay on the journey, your willpower can be strengthened over time and work for, rather than against, you.

For a daily dose of encouragement and perspective, check out Jim Daly’s blog, Daly Focus, at JimDalyBlog.com.

Counting and burning calories

I have been true to my lifestyle upgrade. Well im  getting there slowly. I decided to push myself to the limit today. I jogged, walked, and ran for 60 mins this morning. Yayyyy............

I hope I keep up. Cheers

What goes into my mouth

I posted eariler  today  that I am doing a lifestyle change by eating healthy especially, Cause I LOVE FOOD!!!!! There I said it. So I want to become my own dietitian and nutritionist (except if anyone is willing to do it free of charge for me) heeeeee I be igbo girl so. First I started with a food diary. I downloaded an app on my phone that measures my caloric intake daily and how much ive burnt in an exercise workout. I will be posting what I consume daily on my blog to also help me keep track of what enters my bucal cavity aka mouth.

Lifestyle upgrade lol..

Now that I have finally accepted that I have type 2 diabetes I decided to do a makeover of my poor lifestyle. So I decided to change what I eat. No eba, fufu,iyan(pounded yam) or any high starchy foods. Oh I forgot rice. Well I dont know if I can do away with rice sha. But I will try. I have incorporated new things to my diet. Like replacing rice with pasta, and twix (yeh that too) with carrots and ranch dressing. Have no gym membership yet so I jog twice a week for a start and I take the stairs at work instead of the elevator.
The difficult thing for me is taking meds. Arghhh I hate meds. All meds. But I need my metformin though to reduce it.
When I first knew I had diabetes, I was sad and sightly depressed.  I think I lost 15 pounds. But now that ive accepted it, I think about the people in my life, and how they would be greatly affected if anything happens to me. So I am making this change not just for me  but for my unborn kids, my husband to be , my parents and my siblings. 

Living with type2

I have always been the healthy one in my family.  I try exercising and all that stuffs. Couple of years ago, I lost my mom to complications of type 2 diabetes.  Just early this year I got diagnosed with type2 at 26. Depressing huh? Yup. First I thought I was  going to die ,but then I decided to change my diet by eating healthy.
At my job I try to educate diabetic patients on how to regulate their sugar intake. But I dont even regulate mines. Like today, I didnt even check my blood sugar. 
Diabetes causes several complications to the body.  It damages ones system gradually. People also get amputated by loosing either upper or lower extremities.
Living with diabetes can be controlled in so many ways. The highly recommend way is diet and exercise. 
Reduce sugar intake
Check the amount of sugar ur food contains
And finally take ur meds regularly. 
I do hope that someday a proper cure for diabetes will be found.

My response to Nigerian Actor Jim Iyke's Ex Girlfriend

While I was browsing on my Facebook page, I saw an article on www.news.naij.com about Jim Iyke's ex girlfriend/ Fiancee Keturah Hamilton. Honestly I have never heard of her before, but I think I heard once that Jim Iyke was dating some chick like that. To cut long story short, I saw on one of Nigeria's popular blogger, Linda Ikeji that he was dating Nadia Buari a Ghanaian actress, then for me to see  the article on Naij
that she was lamenting on her wasting 6 years with Jim.

Jim Iyke's sad and heartbroken Jamaican ex-fiancee Keturah Hamilton tells Diasporan Star:

"These days, I ask God: Why has thou forsaken me? How can a man with whom we had gone through the highs and the lows – a man who had professed so much undying love for me over the past six years just walk away like that? I don’t know what happened and I wish I could put a finger on it. He took away six years of memories, of support of love and all that I did for him – just like that. How mean and callous can one get?

Jim was supposed to come to New York and stay for six months, during which time, he would go to an acting school here in New York and then we would move to Los Angeles and get married and pursue our acting dreams. I was looking forward to that with eagerness and then he just walked away” she began to sob according to Diasporan Star

HMMMMMMM............... Madam Keturah, I know you are pissed off and sad about your broken engagement and relationship with the the actor, but come on now, you don't have to to lament about it in public na.. It hurts I know, and I am glad that you have moved on, just take it that you two weren't meant to be together, and trust you will meet someone who is deserving and loving and you will be a much more happier woman. Dont take this experience as a bad one, look at it as lesson and you will be wiser when next you decide to date again, and I wish you the best hope Mr. Right finds you.

(Picture taken from Linda Ikeji) 

Getting married .... yayyyyy

So its been long that I blogged,and after a long time I have decided to share my happy news.  To some its old news.  Been engaged since last year, (he proposed on his birthday) and I said yes..  So excited and happy to be getting married to my best friend and my love.  He is not just changing my last name from Sarah Kelechi Nwosu to Sarah Kelechi Emmanuel Okorafor .... but he has changed my life.  So the planning begins ....

Overview

I love blogging, but most times I try to post what makes sense.  I have seen several blogs and I love the posts and all,  but I want to be  different and unique.  In the blogging world,  I have seen people talk about personal stuffs or just stuffs in general.  Well I prefer both.  Thus, I am going to try a new approach. I also love giving advice to people.  so that's the overview to the new blogs for me. (Hope it makes sense)

Boobies Preaching Pastor, showing off her boobs for the Lord (or to attract horny members) lol

Ok, blessed are those who are blessed with the two huge melons, that they may cause commotion. I know what I just had made no sense, but any who. Saturday evening, while I was out with the girls, my sister brought up the topic about the preacher lady with her boobs all out and part of her nipples almost showing. Ok.. what is the church becoming? If she were my pastor ( Thank God shes not) I would be attracted to her boobs, not the preaching. I don't thing her dressing is appropriate for a preacher. If you want to get yourself noticed, not by looking like a cheap whore. And the camera person keeps zooming on her boobs ( I would do same lol). Whatever shes saying out of her mouth makes no sense when she has her body exposed to the world.  Why would her husband encourage this? I will not classify myself as a holy christian, there are some of my clothes that I have that are boobies reveling, I used to wear them, because I thought that was what made me more beautiful and made men attracted to me. But I was wrong. A woman's breast should be a thing of pride, and should remain covered. But today the media and society makes it ok for us to expose body parts and think its a sexy way to express ourselves. May God help us all.

I MUST MARRY...

This  is the cry of a desperate single woman who is hitting the big  3 0 or is already in her 30's, and today so many Nigerian churches are rising, and hosting revivals for desperate single women. Just 2 days ago I saw a picture on a friend's blackberry display picture, and this was the theme of the event "GIVE ME A SPOUSE OR I DIE". Like come on, when has getting married become a serious issue like this. So if you don't ever get married, you will commit suicide and die? What FOOLISH pastor would encourage such a nonsense. When you get that spouse who you almost killed yourself for, and he ends up to be  the monster you've heard about in newspapers and on TV then you wish you were rather single or even dead.
   What happened to waiting for the RIGHT one? My generation is in a state of  commotion. We live in the fast world of communication and technology, that even meeting your spouse has to be a MICROWAVE thing. I have talked a lot about marriage and divorce and also about meeting the right one. Ladies when did it become a sin or a law that if you are not married at a certain age, your whole world is over? These days, women are in unnecessary competition with themselves over who gets married first or whose husband is the sexiest or the richest. Remember life is not all about being sexy or being rich. Because even the bible says that "All is vanity". One day his 6 packs will become 1 pack, and his 10 figure dollar account can become 4 figure account. Haven't we seen or learnt from the mistakes of others? Why do we keep dragging marriage in the mud? They get married just because they want that ring and then divorce after 72 days?
    It is even worse among Nigerian women. Its like if they don't get married at a certain age, they jump on the very next thing with pants and a dick to marry them. Ladies, where is your self-esteem? Haven't you seen women who are single and making it? I am not against marriage, I believe in marriage, but I also stand for being with the right man or woman. The one who makes you happy, makes you complete, and brings out the beauty and potential in you. Not one who hardly cares about you or sees you as a sex object. So my fellow single ladies, WAIT for MR. RIGHT. He will come looking for you. Don't go looking for HIM. Men smell desperation even from afar off.



BY THE WAY THESE PASTORS LOOK SO HUNGRY... CHURCH IN NIGERIA IS NOW A MONEY MAKING BUSINESS.... (THAT NA TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY)

Poverty.... Living on Minimum Wage In America

         What is poverty, and what does it mean to be poor? Ever gone to bed without food? Have you ever felt bad wasting that food that you just could not finish? So what really does it mean to be poor? I happen to live in the most popular country in the world, United States of America, but it is sad to know that people,  citizens, not illegal immigrants or legal immigrants still live in abject poverty. I remember after I graduated from high school in Nigeria, I wanted to come to the US because I heard so much about the US; the land flowing with milk and honey, God's OWN NATION *(Another topic for another day). A nation where 22% of the nation's wealth is in the hands of 1%. While the rest live in poverty, and children live in homeless shelters.
        Coming from Africa, Nigeria to be precise, I remember seeing all the wonderful pictures of America. I actually thought money grew on trees and where one could get a job just like that. I arrived the US about 8 years ago, and I remember being young and looking for a job. I never had to look for a job in my entire life. Well coming to the US I knew that it wasn't going to be a bed of roses, I knew I had to work, and get off my parents tail. Luckily for me, my whole family came along, so I wasn't lonely. To go straight to the point, I love living in the US trust me it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, but I wonder if the media ever shows the amount of poverty in the US like they do for African countries. Seen those ads on mid-day/late night tv, when that old guy comes out asking for your $1 a day donation to feed the homeless and orphans in other nations?  The media shows that third world countries live in abject poverty. They forget to show the upper-class families, the middle-class families, the average families, the getting-by families  and the By the Grace of God families. All the media shows is that third world nations are POOR and they need help. NO.... Not every nation in the world is so poor that they have to live in homeless shelters, or cant afford too feed their families. Don't get me wrong, there are poor families in third world nations, so poor that they cant afford a place to sleep. My point is that just as the media shows how these countries are suffering, I think that they should be honest in letting the world know that THE US ALSO HAS THE POOR ALSO. My first shock when I first came to the US was seeing a homeless man beg on the streets. YES I WAS TAKEN ABACK. I never knew that there were beggars in the US, in DC for that matter. I remember my uncle tell me yes we have so many beggars and poor people in the US. And I wonder why I never saw the other side of the great United States Of America on TV. The great United states have families who live below the minimum wage, with children living in poverty and some who can't afford to eat 3 square meals a day. That a child comes to school hungry and feeds on the school's provided lunch.
       Luckily, in the US, there are government assistance that helps people meet up to their need (SNAP, TANF, SECTION 8 HOUSING), but do all these government assistance help all the way?
Honestly, I cannot answer that, because I cannot say I understand what it feels like living in poverty.
Do you know that the federal minimum wage is $7.25 per hour? Some people even live below the federal minimum of $7.25. If you calculate how much that is in a month, working 40 hours a week, minus taxes, that will not be enough to pay rent (depending on the area where you live).
Some of you might be wondering why I am all on this poverty issue. I guess I never get to appreciate the life I have, until I live in someone else's shoe . Last semester, I had to live on less than $50 a week on food. (I think it was $30 or $40, cant remember). Anyhow, it was the toughest time for me. I had to live on a budget, and not eat any outside food. So imagine a family of 4 living on $40 a week on food? Eating healthy is expensive and also eating junk food is also expensive. That is why we are a nation of obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease.
       I just finished watching a video 30 days- Minimum wage by Morgan Spurlock and his Fiancee Alex, who tried living on minimum wage for 30 days. Watching this video made me realize that poverty hits home hard. Seeing the effects of living below minimum wage was HARD. I don't know how they did it. Mr. Spurlock even had to take an extra job to  make ends meet. The funny thing was that it was a family of 2. Imagine if they had kids. With kids, it would have been HELL. Don't get me wrong, having children is a thing of joy, but the question is when is ready to be ready for kids? According to the short film by Morgan child care costs $10,000 a year. That is just for child care alone. This is minus diapers, baby food, clothing, health care, entertainment etc.
    In summary, I think the Government has to do something about the living condition of its citizens here at home. It is just like a mother who abandons her children and focuses on other people's children. I also think that the rest of the world is blind to the matters that occurs here in the US, because the US is seen as the BIG BROTHER of the world. Always jumping in when there is some form of trouble going on.
Finally, like I asked in my introduction, what is poverty? And what do you understand to be living in poverty?  If you had to live below the poverty line or you make ends meet, do you still think that you have enough? Or you want more. Do you take note of your environment and see those who live in poverty?Poverty leads to violence and crime, it also leads to divorce, and other health issues. POVERTY, IS ONE THING I PRAY NOT TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME OR MY GENERATION. But who knows tomorrow? Those who are poor did they ask to be born in poverty?
THINK ABOUT THAT.

Leadership in Africa.

This week has been so exciting, fulfilling and awesome. I have been talking a lot about leadership and association with my best-friend (My Fiancee). We have a routine where we share what we learnt in Church with each other  Since I didn't attend Church service last Sunday, he told me what the pastor preached. The teaching was the continuation of a previous series, which talked about leadership and association.  Today, I watched a video on www.ted.com, a lecture by Patrick Awuah, he talked about educating leaders and his experience before he left Ghana, and his awakening moment that made him come back home to Ghana  to train leaders and teach the youth of Ghana to critically think.
Changes starts from within. Our leaders in Africa are so engulfed in their own comfort zones. They go about squandering the resources of the nation, thereby forgetting about the people who placed them in power. Patrick is right that the leaders are the elite group. The problem with Africa is that they don't believe in bringing out the potentials in people. They would rather let one become a nuisance and then they blame it on other factors. Africa needs to rise up and move ahead. That is where we belong, ahead. We need to keep training our leaders right from Kindergarten. As a kid who grew up in Nigeria, we used  to sing a song which goes " Parents listen to your children, we are the leaders of tomorrow" , I never felt like a leader until I left Nigeria, and  moved to the United States, and I became exposed to new things. I became even more courageous,   and I made up my mind to go back home to educate my people. Africa will one day catch up with the rest of the world. Rome wasn't built in a day. We need more people abroad to rise up, come home and make a change.  Yes there would be oppositions. Rome wasn't built in a day. There were also oppositions when Rome was built.

When married men act like married men and not like home boy

Some people would look at this title and assume that I hate men or that I am crazy or something like that. Well, none of the 2. In fact I love men, and I respect them ( well those who deem it fit to respect themselves). I was listening to the radio 2 days ago while driving home from school, and the topic was based on why so many mariages fail and why some dont work. Dont get me wrong, I am not saying that a failure of  a marriage is the man's fault, it is is both parties fault (in some cases).
I have noticed ( especially with the men) that when most of them get married, they tend to still live in their "boyhood" lifestyle.
1. Some still act like they are stil single and forget that their status has changed. They still want to hang with the boys every weekend ( I mean friday -Sunday) forgetting that they have a wife and maybe a kid at home. Im not against hanging out with the boys, they can do that but if it was every weekend when they were single, it should be once a month of twice a month and spend time with the wife.
2. Guys once you are married, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY OFF THE MARKET!!!!!! And I mean OFF..... No need to be chasing after single women. You made your choice in picking your woman, so stick to her and make her your number one.
Dont go for the single girls out there and give them false hopes, because if you love your woman (for you to marry her) you would never leave her for one girl you just met.
3. Please, WHERE YOUR WEDDING RING... You send out the wrong message especially to vulnerable young women.

Good morning world. It has been a long time since I blogged last. I woke up to this wonderful article by Lifetime Ministries. I get subscriptions from them weekly. But today's  article  really caught my eye. Well as we all know that time of the month is coming up soon (I mean Valentines Day) and Men (some) would bring out the loving side of them. But as Women, we need to encourage and appreciate the little time and effort they put in to make us happy. So here is the article, hope you learn a little something from it as I did. Enjoy

The Power of a Woman in Love

By Shaunti Feldhahn

We women have the power to change the whole romance picture. More than likely, we each live with a motivated man who wants more romantic closeness but who is holding back or frustrated. Which means we often hold the key to the quality of romance. If you’ve been disappointed with your romantic relationship and have pushed and prodded to no effect, you’ve probably realized that nagging doesn’t work. So how do we start? Encourage Him Although a man always needs his wife’s appreciation, it is especially critical when he is outside his comfort zone—which, when it comes to romance, is probably the case for half the male population. One man was blunt: “Encourage me and affirm my efforts, and I’ll run through a brick wall to please you. But don’t just assume that I know you’re pleased. I’m way outside my comfort zone. I’m willing to be a fool for you, but just tell me that I did good. And give me sex. That helps too.” Remember that many men view taking romantic initiative as a huge risk—a risk of being humiliated or feeling inadequate. So prove to your man that it’s not a risk! When he makes an effort, it’s your responsibility—and your joy—to demonstrate that it was worth it. Even when your man isn’t outside his comfort zone, he can become frustrated when you don’t want to “go outside and play” when the opportunity arises. So next time he suggests something, don’t tell him you really need to vacuum the house. Give him his version of a candlelight dinner, and enjoy your romantic time together! Entice Him Just as men want to be encouraged, they want to be enticed. One married man relayed this interchange with a female friend who was wondering why romance sometimes dies off in marriage. Her: Romance is the sense that you’re still being pursued. Him: But we caught you. Hand me the remote. Many men have told me that, whether in work or in romance, they are always looking for something to conquer—something to “catch.” A key element in keeping romance alive is to keep giving that to our husbands. Keep it fresh—give him something new to pursue. Go hiking with him. Play golf with him. Give him space when he needs it, and intimate attention when he needs that. Make yourself the kind of friend and lover he constantly wants to pursue. Tell Harry What Sally Needs Several men suggested that, since they can’t read our minds, it’s fine for us to drop hints about those romantic things we’d like to do…as long as they truly are hints, not directives. Take that classic Harry-and-Sally issue: cuddling. Because cuddling tends to be more important to us than to guys, a little patient reeducation may be in order. And this applies to anything you find particularly romantic that he doesn’t get. “Help me understand why it’s so important to you,” one man suggested. “Help me see that, as I romance you in your way, you’ll be more motivated to romance me in my way.” This approach isn’t a damaging, withholding-based model. It is learning to give what the other person needs and enjoying the resulting God-ordained fruits of that selflessness. One man’s response to the cuddling example was, “Men can learn to enjoy a time of closeness after sex. And in this case, it is definitely in our best interest to understand why it matters so much to you!” Keep Him Number One If we let too many other priorities interfere with romance, it puts a damper on the man’s enthusiasm. One of the most common concerns I heard is that we may unconsciously prioritize our kids over our husbands. On the survey, several men expressed concern that “she spends too much time doting on the children” and not enough time doting on the relationship. A man with three active children commented, “It’s considered a Christian thing to do, to be with the kids all the time. But for me as a man, there is a sense of ‘I’ve lost my wife.’ It could sound selfish, but it’s not. And it’s not too healthy for the kids either.” One man said, “It’s not just kids that steal a wife. It’s the whole to-do list. Even helping others can get in the way.” That is the cry of a man who just wants to spend more quality, romantic time with his wife. What an irony, considering that most women pine for the same thing! We have a tremendous opportunity to start over with our men…and in the process rediscover the delight of the mutual pursuit.

Keeping Promises

INTEGRITY