Sunday, December 30, 2012

Relationship Abuse

This morning, I responded to a post on Facebook on a relationship issue from a girl who says her boyfriend beats her and he called that he wants her back. First any man who raises his hands to beat a woman is a WEAKLING.  Ladies, please please please, do not wait to be dead to leave then relationship, if you don't listen to the news or watch Lifetime movie network (Like me) then you need to start. Abuse is not a funny matter, and it should not be taken likely. Some women claim that their partners love them that's why he beats them. If he loves you he should never raise a finger on you. If you are not even married to him, it is easier for you to leave the relationship than for you to remain there for years. Also if he never listens to you, or ask for your opinion, just because he may be older or well educated than you, then you have to do something about it.
If you are a woman in an abusive relationship, PLEASE never threaten  to leave your partner  or  make threats to report to the police, because you will make it even worse. Go to the nearest police station to report the case.  Threatening him might even make him angry and might even get you killed. Also do not wait for the second abuse attempt to occur, talk to someone or report to the police, cause the second might be your last. Whenever an abuse occur PLEASE for your safety, let someone know about it, someone you can always confide in. Never try to handle the situation, because you might not handle it well.

Abuse is not only physical, there are emotional and verbal abuse is also included. Some women would say "oh my partner never hits me" but the truth is that he might have said some things that made you feel worthless or even make you have a low  self esteem. As women, we sometimes forget to note the red flags in our relationships. Emotional abuse can come from reminding you of your past and using it against you in an argument, or even calling you overweight  or underweight and comparing you to other women of his taste and so on. So don't wait to till you are dead or have a low self esteem to know that you are in an abusive relationship.

The same goes for the men. I know it is rare to find men being abused by their wives, but it happen in our society.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Why are African Men afraid of getting their Prostate checked?

I know some might be wondering why  all about Men's health  and them checking their Prostate. It just occurred to me that many men (esp African men), don't go to the doctor  for a prostate exam (well few do). Men's health is not only about having 6 packs, or even being all muscular and all, its about your total health in general. The society is always on women about going for yearly mammograms, and pap tests, cervical cancer, and all. There is so much awareness for women's health and less for men. Don't get me wrong, I am all about women's health, but men's health is also important.
I have asked several African men, if they have had their prostate checked, and they say 'Oh you want me to allow another man dip his fingers in my butt hole? " No thank you. It is a cultural thing I would say, and the misconception and confusion surrounding it. According to one of the response I got on my Facebook comment,

Mo' Lanee Sibyl It's a cultural thing, I guess. You know how homophobic the African culture can be perceived as. Digital rectal examination aint the only way to get screened for prostate cancer , there is also PSA (Prostate- specific antigen) which is like a blood test, thus less invasive than anal probing. Nonetheless, these tests aren't always reliable, a lot of false positives and sometimes higher levels of PSA may be due to something else apart from prostate cancer. Could be BPH (Benign prostatic hyperplasia), prostatis, prostate biopsy, bicycle riding and even recent ejaculation! Sometimes, Doctors even tell their patients not to expose themselves to these tests except if there are familial history related to the patient. Another man (not gay) using his fingers to examine your butt hole doesn't make you less of a man. I have seen several shows (Family guy, house of Payne etc) where the misconception of another man checking your prostate is seen as abuse (Well only Peter Griffin did, and he sued the Doctor lol).
I am no expert in this topic, but I have some little knowledge (Anatomy and Physiology 1&2)  and I can try to make it easy to understand.
If you dont know what your prostate is or what it does, you are not alone, most men dont, in fact more than 30 million men suffer from prostate conditions which affects them negatively(prostatehealthguide.com,2005).

According to Web Md, the prostate is a walnut-sized  (shaped like a donut)gland located between the bladder and the penis, just in-front of the rectum. The urethra runs through the center of the prostate,from the bladder and the penis, letting urine flow out of the body.
The prostate is not there to punish men, it has its own special function. It secretes fluid that nourishes and protect the sperm (those of you who want to be fruitful and multiply). Also, during ejaculation, the prostate squeezes this fluid into the urethra, and it is expelled with sperm as semen.
I really dont want to bore anyone with all these medical terms, but this is just a little background for those who have asked me on the location of the prostate.





Male Anatomy of Reproduction: The Prostate


Conditions such as Prostatitis(Inflammation of the prostate), enlarged prostate (aka Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy or BPH) and  Prostate cancer (the most common form of cancer in men), are things that your Doctor looks out for, using tests such as;
 1. Digital rectal exam (DRE), the most common method. A Dr lubricates his finger, and inserts it into the rectum and feels the prostate (what most men are scared of). This method is used to detect for the enlargement of the prostate, for lumps and tenderness of the prostate
2. Prostate-specific antigen (PSA), is a blood test used to check for prostate cancer. If the PSA is high,  the possibility of cancer, but an enlarged prostate can also cause a high PSA
There are other tests like Prostate biopsy, and prostate ultrasound. Really dont want to sound like an expert or someone who knows it all, I just want to create more awareness, and encourage men (African men esp) to have their prostate checked, because prevention is better then cure, and early detection is helpful also.
http://men.webmd.com/picture-of-the-prostate
http://www.prostatehealthguide.com/


Monday, November 12, 2012

Values

I have been attending a leadership training at school Terrapin Leadership Institute (TLI). At one of the sessions, we were given a list of values, and asked to pick 5 values. I the 5 i picked were; Accomplishment, Family, Hard work, Giving, and Determination. Then we were asked to let go of 4 values and leave one standing. It was hard letting go of some of the things I value most, like Hard work, giving, determination and accomplishment. The only value I had standing was FAMILY. Why did I pick family? Cos my family means so much to me. I may be hardworking, an accomplished woman, determined and also a charity worker, but by family makes me complete an whole. I can never replace them, eve n when I am married.

Yesterday, I tried the same activity with my 9 year old sister. But I gave her 10 values and she had to pick 5 The values I gave here were; God, education, hard work, love, family, determination, (I cant remember the other 5), but this were the 5 she picked. I told her to let go of 4 and have one standing. She had God as the last value. I asked her why she had God and let go of family, and she told me that, God is her ultimate and with God, she has everything. With God, she has her family, education, and every other things. I was so impressed with her answer, and proud of her. That even as a child, she know that she values God even more than her family, cause he is the ultimate.

Train a child in the way he/she should go, and he/she will never depart from it.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

A day without my phone

I am addicted to my blackberry, and its sad to actually admit it. When I woke up this morning at 10am, I saw that my battery went flat (dead), so I tried charging it, but it wont charge, or come on. So I have been charging it for over 6 hours, and still nothing. So as at now I am phoneless, and also about to loose it. But I am actually keeping my cool. I hope it works before the end of today.

My 5k run

Woke up this morning to check the map of my little sister's 5K run tomorrow. FYI  I have never done a marathon before, and I also didn't practice ahead for the race. The race starts at 8am sunday. Looking at the miles I have to do tomorrow, I was like wow.... Also I don't have good running shoes, or proper outfits for the weather tomorrow. So pray for me.
 http://www.girlsontherunofmoco.org/images/stories/maps/gotr5kcoursewestfieldmall.pdfhttp://www.girlsontherunofmoco.org/images/stories/maps/gotr5kcoursewestfieldmall.pdf

Friday, November 9, 2012

That feeling.........

When you meet the one of your dreams
The amount of  butterflies in your belly
The way you get excited just hearing the sound of their voice
The feeling of being loved
And being wrapped up in their arms
And waking up to the sound of their voice

That feeling, when you hear them say "I LOVE YOU"
When you fight, it messes up your whole day, and you become  sad
When you are apart, it feels like a part of you is missing

That feeling, when everyone tells you how much you glow each day
When you find yourself smiling over the fun times you both had
And laughing over silly things

That feeling, when you know you are married to your best friend
The one you can tell any and everything without being afraid of what would happen next
The one that you are proud to remind the world of everyday how much you love your best friend

That feeling,
Exceptional
Wonderful
Amazing

That feeling.......





Thursday, November 8, 2012

Giving up

Giving up is very easy, but staying strong even when you feel defeated is the hardest thing to do also. I have given up several times and the feeling...... nothing to write home about. Whenever I put in my 100% effort in something, and the end result doesn't come out as pleased, I get discouraged, and then the feeling of giving up comes in, and then I feel like just letting it all go, because it is very easy to do so. But one thing always keeps me afloat, I remember the saying " Winners never quit, and QUITTERS never win". Then I am encouraged not to give up. I am hanging in strong because I see the light so close, though it feels far, I hang on, and keep pressing forward.
Never give up, though you might have failed couple of times, hanging in there and making it through is all that matters. Quitters NEVER win.

Monday, November 5, 2012

My YOLO list

In my previous blog on my YOLO list, I have started working on my list, and I plan to achieve about 70% before the end of 2013. I am so excited about the list. Will try to upload pictures to show my progress.

Doubts

Every time I blog about something, it is  either an experience that happened to me or to someone I know, or don't know.
Having confidence in yourself is very important, especially when overcoming fear. As I wrote in my blog weeks ago, about fear, I felt I should write about doubts.
I have been practicing for my 2nd  Chemistry, and I have been putting in a lot of efforts on each topic. So at the end of every topic, I go to the end of the book to practice each problems there, and when I finish each one, I go to the back of the book to check for the answers to find out if I am right or wrong. Before I finish the problem, I say within my self " oh I think I am wrong" or " This does't look accurate", but to my surprise  every time I checked, I was 100% right. Then I realized that I always second guess myself every especially when I know that I am right. So I am training my mind to always remain confident, and never doubt. And even if I got a problem wrong, I go back and do it again until I arrive at the right answer.
The doubting spirit is always convincing and has a strong conviction, and when they say always go with your instincts, I 90% agree with that, cause your instincts can be right sometimes. Never doubt yourself, always believe in yourself, and remain confident.

Monday, October 29, 2012

My YOLO(You Only Live Once) List

Couple of weeks ago, I was watching the Katie Couric show on ABC, and she talked about her YOLO list. This is more like a bucket list, Instead of calling it a bucket list, I prefer YOLO list. I have made about 12 things to do before I die, or should I say before I turn 75. Ranking them from easy to hardest.
1. Skinny Dipping:  I've always wanted to go skinny dipping ever since I knew what it was, so yeh, I'm gonna get naked, and skinny dip (lol)
2. Learn how to swim: Yeh I  know you thinking the same thing how will she learn how to skinny dip if she cant swim? Well I have to learn how to swim first before I skinny dip.
3. Learn how to sew: I remember trying to mend some of my dad's clothes, and I got frustrated. So I'm gonna have to learn it again, and be very good at it.
4. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or Orphanage: I haven't done any volunteer activities in the past, and I have always wanted to visit an orphanage or feed the homeless, during Thanksgiving or Christmas.
5. Visit a new country every year, or every other year: I did a lot of travelling with my dad as a kid(Which i don't have memories of), so I want to create new memories.
6. Write a book: Maybe Children books, or something.
7. Learn a new language: Thinking Spanish, Russian, or French
8. Go on a cruise ship: With my whole family.
9.* Get over my fear of dogs and cats*,  every time I see a dog or a cat, I always run. So I really have to get over that fear.
10. Want to drive a very expensive red car(Bentley, Lamborghini, or anyone ), for a day
11. Get over my fear of heights
12. Sky dive: Yeh I saved the best for last, SKY DIVING....

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Daddy issues

Being a parent is one of the world's toughest job. Being my parent, is even more tough. I come from a disciplined home, dad was strict, and I thought he was just plain wicked and cruel. Now that I am an adult, I get what he was doing. Though he kinda over did it sometimes, but he always disciplined me in love.

Growing up, I was a very obedient, quiet, shy kid. I was the biggest cry baby in the world, and very emotional. So I tried staying out of trouble. But whenever I committed a crime,(children crimes), I bring down the roof, and then I got the spanking of my life. I remember one time I almost burnt down the house. I had just cleaned up my room, and I used old newspapers to cover the windows, and then I think I was trying to smoke a wrap of paper (I was like 9 years old), and the fire from the warp of paper got  on the papers on the window, cause I was very close to the window, and the whole newspapers caught fire. That day, I got the beating of my life, so funny now that I look back. Also, when I was in primary school at Gideon International Isolo, I hated the subject Maths with a passion. My dad spent so much money on math tutors, that didn't change the way I felt about math. So at the end of the term, I brought home my results, and I had a 30% in math, and a 99% in Yourba ( Yourba is a Western Nigerian Language). Yes, I had a 99% in Yourba, and a 30% in math. That night when my dad came home and saw the result, I really can't say what happened. It was a Chinese movie, with dad as Jakie Chan, and me as the Bad guy. Incidents like these, made me hate my dad like hell. I felt like the most  hated child in the world.

I remember when I had my first boyfriend, I was 15 he was 26 or so ( a crime in America lol). When my dad heard that I was talking to a guy on my street, that was it, he almost had my neck that day. Then I hated him even more. Fast forward to present, and I've had several relationships, and I never introduce the guys to my parents. And I asked myself why?
One day, it came to me " I HAVE DADDY ISSUES".  What is daddy issues u might be wondering, I will explain it in a very easy way. Daddy issues, is when you have issues with your dad, and you think and treat all the men in your life as your dad (Ok if u don't understand this, I dont either). So because I had daddy issues, and I wasn't close to my dad, and I took the way he disciplined me as him being a monster, I was wrong. In fact, my dad loves me more than I can ever imagine. He once told me that the reason he was so hard on me, was because he wanted me to become better than him in future.
My dad, being a disciplinarian, wanted me to do this in a certain way. In one of my blogs, I mentioned how people advised  us to all become nurses when we first came to America. And dad was so bent on me doing nursing. When I dropped out of nursing school, he was so mad at me. I was got angry, and at that point, my war with my father became bigger than World War II, it was  Nwosu War, between Kelechi and her dad. Everyone was so concerned about the war between him and I, and I was miserable. At that moment, I had a lot going on. After loosing my mom and my sister under a year, I blamed my dad for everything. I guess the hatred I had as a kid, grew even stronger and stronger.
After counselling, and prayers, and so many talks from my friends, sister and fiance, I finally decided to make up with my dad. Funny, my dad and I are gradually becoming close, and we now understand each other a little better. And I appreciate him more now than ever.
 I am glad I am over my daddy issues now, and I hope its finally over. Though we might still have some clashes, it wont be as bad as it was, cos now there is a mutual understanding between us now.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Day 2 of the food stamp challenge..... and i hear the lion roaring in my stomach

Ok, I should have just written a 6 page paper, instead of taking this challenge. So yesterday I cheated, (my 2 day old bowl of rice) so I decided to stick by the rules today.The time currently is 1:51 pm, and I just ate my 3rd apple, which includes my breakfast, and lunch. I didn't plan this challenge well, so I have to accept the consequences and make it to the 7th day. Like seriously, I feel gassy, and bloated.


Well with this experience, I guess I will be able to understand how people who are low income earners survive. And I get to appreciate the times I get to eat a full 3 square meal.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Food stamp challenge Day 1 and I am STARVING....

I  started a class project in my women's health class, and its called " The Food stamp challenge". In this class project I'm  supposed to spend only $30 a week on food that is $4.30 a day. Like really? This challenge is to experience how people on food stamps in America survive on $30 a day on food, and how to make healthy food choices on a low budget income.
 I love my spinach Stromboli from Sabaros at the University of Maryland food court, for $4.98; living on a budget for a week, I wont be able to afford my Italian lunch (sad face).
Well the challenge started today, and boy was I starving. First I woke up late, and was 16 mins late for my 8am class, (I hate 8 am classes). While heading for the door, I grabbed an apple and a yoplait yogurt. I had the apple for breakfast and forgot the yoplait yogurt in my car (still in my car as I speak). After 12 hours of hunger, I got home to consume a 2 day old bowl of  rice in my fridge. Any who I survived the first day of the food challenge, 6 more days to go.
  So far, Ive done my shopping for the week, and  this is a list of my shopping;
1 nature promise whole wheat bread for $2.50,
10 cups of yoplait yogurt for $10,
 a gallon of milk  for $3.89
 a variety oatmeal for $2.99 and
a bag of apples for $3.99.
 Just listing this, I just realized that I just bought items for breakfast and snacks, no lunch or dinner (or lord, im gonna lose 10 pounds by Monday).  I hope to finish this challenge by abiding by the rules... (sighs deeply)
ONE DAY DOWN....... 6 MORE TO GO.


One more thing, part of this challenge is that I cannot dine out, or eat at any parties or accept any free food. YEH, I CANNOT ACCEPT ANY FREE FOOD.......My co worker feeds me every Fridays.So  for this week, I have to reject her food.
Does anyone want to join me?

Monday, October 8, 2012

Insecurities

While watching  "The voice" today (on demand). During the interview session,  one of the contestants  she said she had insecurity issues. Talking about her weight and being bullied in school, and one thing she said that caught my ears was "I have insecurity issues, and I'm gonna be insecure for life". She just destroyed herself.  Why would she say she was gonna be insecure for life?  We all have insecurity issues, but we should never claim them.
I used to be so insecure. Growing up I was so  skinny and tall for my age, and also a  timid little girl. Everyone made fun of me.  I hated my height, and my weight. I wanted to be a fat kid. Then I grew up to be a (I hate using the word 'FAT" but I'm gonna use it anyways) FAT adult ( yehhhhh I love the sound of that "ADULT"). And people still complain about my weight, and everyone keeps telling me to lose the weight and return to my high school weight of 120 pounds.  But when I was skinny, everyone around me wanted me to be fat. I got depressed about it, and insured about it also. Most times I look at myself in the mirror, and I go, "dang I hate my body".  I realized that was the  insecure side of me talking. Then one day I had the "AHHH" moment, I am beautiful, I love my body, I love how I look. I might not weigh 120 pounds anymore, but I am a confident woman. And I am proud to be me.

I still want to lose some pounds, to get to a healthy weight, not because someone wants me to be skinny or because I wanna look like Beyonce (Yeh B u beautiful alright), but I am doing it for me. Not to look sexy (I am already a sexy diva), or be like one of those models in magazines.
 What I am saying in general, never let your insecurities define who you are, be unique, and different. Love your self first, cos if you don't love yourself, no one would love you.
Your insecurities don't make you, THEY ONLY BREAK YOU.
Peace out and good nite...

Re-constructing

Its been a very long week, with  exams and quizzes  with a bombarded crazy  exam last Friday. So I had to re-construct my schedule and certain things and distractions. I realized that when things dont go as planned, you start looking for ways to make it right again. There is always a plan B to every plan A. And if plan B fails, I would keep going till I get to Z.

What does't kill me only makes me stronger...... AND IM A FIGHTER... I NEVER QUIT 

Friday, October 5, 2012

20 Facts of relationships

I saw this on a friend's page (Efe Adegor) on Facebook, and I decided to share it. Though I don't agree with all of them, I feel makes sense. 
Enjoy 
1. There is nothing like a perfect
relationship.
2. No romance without sacrifice.
3. Every woman has a price.
4. Never trust your partner in
your absence.
5. Those who cheat and lie
before marriage are most likely
to continue to do so in marriage.
6. Most relationships are
relationships of convenience.
7. What most lovers mistake for
love is actually lust that will not
last the test of time.
8. The bitter truth works like
bitter pills.
9. The sooner we dump those
who cheat and lie the better and
happier we would be.
10. You may force a girl to go out
with you, but you cannot force
her to love you.
11. Most men who beat women
also cheat on women.
12. Believe it or not, an unfaithful
partner can also kill you.
13. Once a cheater, always a
cheater and once a liar, always a
liar.
14. Destroy conceit and deceit or
conceit and deceit will ruin you.
15. Wise men do not gossip
about women.
16. Never bet on any woman on
fidelity.
17. Never fall in love with a
woman who does not love you.
18. The lust for money and sex is
the ruin of all relationships.
19. You do not need money to
win the heart of a woman or
marry a woman who truly loves
you.
20. You can lose all your
possessions, but never give up
your love.

Fear

I have learnt somethings about fear, in the past. Fear of the Unknown, fear of failure, even the fear to succeed. And one thing I realized is that FEAR is not of GOD... but its of the devil. He places this spirit of fear in us, and we begin to believe it. I remember growing up, I was so scared of science and math classes (yes sciences.. ie Biology, Chemistry, Physics), and I wanted to become a lawyer because there wasn't going to be any math or science involved (not that im saying that all lawyers are scared of math or science or are not geniuses). I was looking for the easy way out to escape math and science classes. So fast forward to 2005. I came to the US, and being a Nigerian, people advised us (mom, dad, Oge and I ) to do Nursing. BOOMMMM.... I was like oh HELL NO... I didn't like nurses, let alone become one. Well as the bible say honor ur parents shey? So I started taking my science classes, and math classes. Funny enough I failed Bio107 (at Montgomery College) 2 times. YES I FAILED THAT CLASS TWICE, WHY? Cos I had the same mentality of being scared of Science classes, but on the third trial (which was my last chance), I passed it, because It was also a human like me who created these formulas and steps..
      What am I blabbing about here. Fear can stop you from moving forward in life. Whenever the spirit of fear decides to knock on ur door always remember that "God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of LOVE AND A SOUND MIND" 2nd Timothy 1:7.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Moments of Life

How many times can an individual hit the reset button in their life? Life is full  of moments. Special ones, tragic ones, and just moments to remember. As for me, I have decided to live every bit of it, enjoy every moment I experience. 
Life is too short to live other people's lives. Laugh your heart out, dance like there is no on watching, dance in the rain, ignore the pain, love and learn to be loved, forgive and learn to forget, and also trust only one person GOD, cos you only have one life to live. 

Dusting... Dusting...

Its been a while since I blogged.. Been busy , work, school, and all other drama. Back now well for a while I guess till I go back to school.
Enjoy

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Divorce

In my previous blog, picking the right mate 1 and 2, I mentioned that picking and having the right partner is very important. Many people these days go into marriage eyes closed. And their eyes open when it is too late! Then they result to DIVORCE.
Divorce gets even worse when there are kids involved. Why? Because parents get selfish. Or should I say some parents are selfish.  You have produce kids in the world, then later realize that you married the wrong man or woman! Then you realize that this (Marriage) wasn't what you signed up for. Then because you are both adults (well you claim you are) u separate, not considering the children you brought forth to the world.
Its just like when u both decided to say "I DO" u never thought about the kids u were gonna have. Then once u guys divorce, the kids involved become traumatized. But the parents expects the child not to be affected (BIG FAT LIE).
Children from divorced homes turn out to be menace to the society! Well not all, but some are. Most of them are traumatized emotionally, especially if their parents separated @ a very young age.
Think about this; parents can definately move on faster than kids. Why? Because they can meet someone else. 


Mom /dad can be remarried; a new spouse. What happens to the kids? Yeh they might be getting a new mom or dad, but remember its called (STEP-PARENT). My people have a saying " blood is thicker than water".
In some cases, this kids are molested by the new "parent". Either physical abuse, sexual abuse or emotional abuse.
Abuse might not come only from the "step parent",  relatives also, from either side of the family. 




 Unfortunately, our society encourages divorce. Seems like the  order of the day is get married, have kids, then you find out that you married the wrong person all these years.
 Before u walk down to the alter to say "I DO" please think about what you going into.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing wrong about marriage, I'm just against the divorce part,  because once divorce happens with kids involved, scars occur.
What amazes me is, when a couple has been married for over 30 years, and decide to divorce, and their reason(s) I married the wrong man/woman, or he /she changed.
Children involved in divorce don't have to be toddlers or elementary school kids, even adults can be strongly affected by the separation of their parents. Truth is some of them begin ti get scared of marriage, because they don't seem to understand why happy mom and dad decided to call it quits (well not always happy sometimes).
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Marriage (choosing the right partner part 2)

This is a message I got from church, so I decided to share it. Hope you benefit from it as I did. 




It is important to note that for every venture, family, relationships, etc, the foundation upon which it is built is very essential. Marriage is a foundational institute created by God. It was one of the first things created in the Garden of Eden. However, owing to failing statistics on the marriage institution, a lot of people are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the institution. This is reflected in increased divorce rates, and sadly, the church is not left out in this disheartening statistics. In a similar vein, people have begun to deal with marriage with the same attitude they deal with inanimate objects. Hence, we find people who change partners like they change clothes and disposable plates and spoons. Some have even become scared of marriage. So in today's world, we find people who are ready to co-habit as life partners, have sex and do the same things that married people do, but with no intention to commit to the marriage institution. This is wrong and is not what God intended for relationships. Regardless of the current failing statistics on the marriage institution, it is important to note that marriage is not something to be scared of. To ensure a successful marriage, we must return to the author of the institution-God-for direction. Also, in order to pick the right partner, we must diligently and carefully seek the face of God.
UNDERSTANDING THE VALUE OF GODLY PARTNERSHIP
-Ecclesiastes 4:9, Matthew 11:28-29
i. Benefits of Partnership (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
a. It brings purpose to your life.
b. Brings high productivity to your life.
c. It brings protection into your life.
d. It brings power to your life.
e. It also brings peace to your life.
A successful marriage partnership depends on a successful partnership with God. It is also important that we carefully analyze our relationships before getting married. They say love is blind, but marriage does open those eyes. So do not let love blind your eyes, for if you do, you might not like what you see after your eyes are opened, two or three years down the line in the marriage. Below are some questions you can use in analyzing the relationship you have with your partner before deciding whether to settle down with them or not.
i. Are you mutually attracted: This includes attraction in the following areas: 
spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical.
ii. Do you share common values?
iii. Do you have genuine friendships? This friendship should not be based on physical beauty or handsomeness, wealth, fame or any other things that could fizzle away.
iv. Is your partner responsible? Remember:
 "Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you cannot live without."
v. Do you have a family background that compares to one another? For example are your family values the same?
vi. Are there unresolved hurts and hang-ups in your life? Such hurts and hang-ups if not resolved could potentially harm your marriage down the line. There have been cases of people who broke up years after marriage, just because the other partner still dealt with a painful experience either from childhood or a previous relationship(s). This should be avoided. If you have any of such issues, ensure you deal with it and make sure it will not crop up somewhere along the line to destroy your marriage. Don't marry a rebound. Mend before you marry.
vii. Do you have compatible life challenges?
viii. How often do you fight and how quickly do you resolve the conflict? Learn about conflict resolution before marriage, not after marriage. Boundaries should be set before marriage.
ix. Do you sincerely respect and admire your partner? Make sure you observe unlikable traits during dating and courtship, and deal with them before marriage. Observe unique characteristics in your partner before marriage, so that you don't end up unhappy with such characteristics after marriage.
x. Lastly ask yourself this question: Do you want your children to look like your partner?
2. God is a God of Process: From the creation of man to the coming of our lord and savior Jesus Christ and all through the bible, we see that God does things in an orderly manner, observing certain processes and procedures in all He does. Hence, He requires that in choosing the right life partner we follow the right processes in order to keep us from avoidable hurt and pain.
THE PROCESS/PATHWAY TO PICKING THE RIGHT PARTNER
i. Take your time-Psalm 106:13
Time is the only way many character defects are detected.
"Many have missed the purpose of God by acting in a hurry"-Pst. Olumide
ii. Ask for God's guidance: James 1:5
Don't pray your will to God, ask Him for His perfect will. Commit your ways unto the lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass-Psalm 37:5
iii. Seek the insight of godly people-Psalm 37:30
iv. Listen and look for the peace of God-Colosians 3:15
v. Stay connected to the body of Christ: Don't let your relationship and/or marriage disconnect you from God.
vi. Participate in premarital or preparation courses-Proverbs 4:11
3. 
PITFALLS TO AVOID WHEN CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER
i. Immaturity: Whether it is spiritual, mental, or emotional, immaturity should be avoided. Look to see for signs of immaturity in your partner. Don't marry a person who is immature in their ways. They would pull you backwards especially when you do not have the strength to carry them along the path of maturity.
ii. Insecurity
iii. Impatience
iv. Isolation: When your relationship seems to be taking you away from friends and family, especially those in the household of faith, it is a sure sign that sooner than later you will find yourself doing the wrong thing with your partner. This should be totally dealt with especially in the courtship/dating years, because after you settle down as husband and wife it may be hard to reverse. The key is to find out why he/she does not like you hanging around your friends and family, especially those who share the same faith with you. For example, find out why he doesn't like going to church with you and why he pulls you away from church.
ASK MANY QUESTIONS. KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW. BE WISE!
v. Don't ignore these pitfalls: Ignoring these pitfalls is also a pitfall to avoid. 
vi. Avoid premarital sex and co-habiting: The secular society thinks differently about this, but God's word is very clear on this. 
No sex before marriage. Don't live together if you are not married. Don't try to get around it. Just obey God's word and it will pay off both in the short run and in the long run.
 vii. Take care of unresolved internal pain(s).
"It is better for you to hurt your way through a disappointing break-up, than to hurt your way for a lifetime, through a disappointing marriage"-Pst. Olumide.
POINTS TO NOTE
1. A hurtful break-up is better than a hurtful marriage.
2. Purpose to be the right person in the relationship.
3. Have a significant assurance of your life partner before marriage. Note that 100% assurance may not be possible, but let your assurance be significant enough.
4. Also, don't over-analyze the situation. It may lead you to the paralysis of analysis.
Marriage is honorable in all-Hebrews 13:4
5. After saying "I do", put about 200% effort to make the marriage the best it can be. Also strive to bring the best out of yourself. Because sometimes, bringing the best out of yourself can help your partner bring the best out of him(her)self.
6. Make sure you deal with buyers remorse. After you get married, whoever you get married to becomes the right one.
Finally, marrying the right person does not mean marrying the perfect person. There are bound to be challenges along the way, but regardless of what happens, pray, believe and trust God for a better life with your spouse. And always know that even if your spouse may not be perfect in every way you want them to be, they are just right for you. Sometimes working to help each other deal with the imperfections in your lives, could help strengthen the union. Also remember that when you finally choose the right partner, God's favor is bound to follow-Proverbs 18:22. Enjoy your marriage in God. If you are not married, just wait on the lord. Peace.






Choosing the right partner


Everybody wants to make the right choice in choosing a mate. What a nightmare if we don't. What a blessing if we do. If you are in a serious relationship, ask yourself these questions:* Is this person my best friend? If not, you're not ready.* Do we share common faith and values? If not, you'll have conflict and drift apart.* Do family and friends affirm the relationship? Choosing a mate means choosing a family.* Am I willing to make a lifetime commitment? Marriage is not for trying out. That's a sure road to divorce.* Do I want this person to be the parent of my children?* Do I wake up to every day wanting to be with them versus convincing myself why I like them?If you can say yes to each of these, you may have found the right one. If not, you may want to slow down or even call it off. But most of all, seek God's will through prayer and be willing to follow His lead in one of life's biggest decisions.






Wednesday, January 18, 2012

FACTS

Wealth;
Despite its vast resources, Nigeria ranks among the most unequal countries in the world. The poverty in the North is in stark contrast to more developed southern states. The oil rich south-east residents complain the wealth they generate flows up the pipeline to Abuja and Lagos!


Literacy
Female literacy is seen as the key to raising living standards for the next generation. For example, a newborn child is far likelier to survive if its mother is well-educated. In Nigeria we see a stark contrast between the mainly Muslim north and the Christian and animist south. In some northern states less than 5% of women can read and write, whereas in some Igbo areas more than 90% are literate.

Oil
Nigeria is Africa's biggest oil producer and among the biggest in the world but most of its people subsist on less than $2 a day. The oil is produced in the south-east and some militant groups there want to keep a greater share of the wealth which comes from under their feet. Attacks by militants on oil installations led to a sharp fall in Nigeria's output during the last decade. But in 2010, a government amnesty led thousands of fighters to lay down their weapons.

Health
Southern residents tend to have better access to healthcare, as reflected by the greater uptake of vaccines for polio,tuberculosis, tetanus. But some Northern groups in the past boycotted immunization programs in the past, claiming they are a Western plot to make Muslim women infertile.

Boko Haram Timeline of terror

Boko Haram: Timeline of terror
·         2002: Founded
·         2009: Hundreds killed when Maiduguri police stations stormed
·         2009: Boko Haram leader Mohammed Yusuf captured by army, handed to police, later found dead
·         Sep 2010: Freed hundreds of prisoners from Maiduguri jail
·         Dec 2010: Bombed Jos, killing 80 people and blamed for New Year's Eve attack on Abuja barracks
·         2010-2011: Dozens killed in Maiduguri shootings
·         May 2011: Bombed several states after president's inauguration
·         June 2011: Police HQ bombed in Abuja
·         Aug 2011: UN HQ bombed in Abuja
·         Nov 2011: Co-ordinated bomb and gun attacks in Yobe and Borno states
·         Dec 2011: Multiple bomb attacks on Christmas Day kill dozens

Nigeria Boko Haram Suspect escapes from Police Custody

A key suspect in a Nigerian church bombing that killed more than 40 people escapes police custody, leading to the arrest of a top policeman. 
Kabiru Sokoto, believed to be a member of the Islamic terrorist Boko Haram was arrested on Saturday in Abuja after the police trailed him to his house. A police commissioner has been arrested due to the escape. 
The twist to this is that Mr. Sokoto was arrested in Abuja, seen at a lodge owned by the governor of Borno  state, Kashim Shettima. But a spokesman to the governor  states that there is no question of collaboration between the governor and Boko Haram.

“What we’ve heard is that this man is in the lodge perhaps to even harm the governor. One cannot be in governance and be collaborating with people who threaten the peace of your own region,” Inuwa Bwala, Borno’s commissioner of information .
Mr. Sokoto was the only major suspect to be arrested of late for involvement in the bloody attacks

Monday, January 16, 2012

Nigeria

Nigeria is a very rich country. But the wealth is not evenly spread out. The rich are just plainly rich; while the poor, well they called poor for a reason. The problem with our Nigerian Government is LACK OF MONEY MANAGEMENT. 
I dont know if its an African thing or what, when black people see money, them no know wetin them go use am do, instead na to buy things or throw party. Dont get me wrong, Im not saying its bad to have fun, not its not, but dont over do it.
If the domestic spending of the president of Nigeria is 1billionNaria, how much does he earn as a president? And why does he have to spend 1billionNaria a year on feeding and parties and all other unnecessary stuffs. Does anyone know how far 1billionNaria can go in Nigeria today? Also, sometime last year, there was a meeting to be held in London, the Nigerian government went with 3 private jets, and went along with more than the required people. Oh well Najia must show off.
With the fuel whala that has been going on, all na just SCRIPTED MOVIE, and as usual, everyone played their role well. From the President to the NLC AND CO.
If they really care about the people, the refineries should be fixed, and oil should be produced and done at home, not bought from outside. This will also save the cost of shipping and all.
But what exists in Nigeria today is  A SLEEPING GOVERNMENT. 

Monday, January 9, 2012

Waiting for the perfect mate...

Oya, enough of #OccupyNigeria for now, I want to talk about matters that concerns the heart (not every heart sha).
Ive heard so many Singles (Esp ladies) talk about meeting the perfect person. Interesting I must say. But does the word "Perfect" exist in our world today? (you can answer that on ur own). I happen to ask people what they mean by being with a "Perfect" mate; and they say all sorts of things from the profession, to money, looks, height, and all..
I laugh out very loud. I remember when I was in high school, I used to have a book, where I wrote about the kind of man I wanted to marry (Building castles in the air), I said he has to be tall, not too ugly, not too fine, in between, makes a lot of money, blah blah blah(I was just 16), so bear with me that I had so many fantasies,reality never dawned on me.
Well, as I got older, I began to realize that "Perfect" only exists with God, I am yet to meet a perfect human begin.
I remember growing up, my aunt used to tell me stories, and I remember one about a beautiful woman, who was single. Men came from far and wide to have her hand in marriage. She turned all of them down. One day, a spirit ( well he was a monster) in the forest heard about this woman, and said he was going to woo her to marry him. Mind you he wasnt a complete creature. So before embarking on his journey, he borrowed hands, legs, eyes, mouth, face, and everything to look complete. He looked so handsome. He go to the village where this girl lived and like other men, asked for her hand in marriage. Immediately, she accepted and he took her away. So as the custom implied, he took her to his home (The forest). As they walked, she wondered where he was taking her to. They walked and walked and walked, deep inside the forest. On their way, the so called handsome man began to return all the parts he borrowed. By the time it was too late for her, she realized she married a mosnter, and he ate her up (lol, well some said she ran away and went back home, this is my own version).
Moral of the story; not all that glitters is gold.
We all want perfect, but before you find perfect, you have to be perfect also. And for those of you waiting for the perfect man or woman, well before its too late........

Occupy Nigeria at the world bank Dc

Nigerians came out to show their support today at the World bank in Washington Dc. Even under the cold condition, they came all dressed up, ready to let their voices be heard. Everyone had something green on representing their loyalty to their nation. Placards of all sorts were made. 
To my surprise, I expected people to come late(Well I was also late; Long story), but people got there ontime and the protest ended at 1pm. 
Nigerians in the DMV, came out on a peaceful protest against the issues going on the Nigeria today. Men and women, all spoke about their frustrations about the problems we are facing in Nigeria. Reporters came also to capture the day. Was an amazing one hr I would say. 
Another rally would be going on at the Nigerian Embassy in NY Tuesday 10th of January 2012 at 12pm. And another again at the Nigerian Embassy in Washington Dc. 
To those who came out to support  the rally, Thank u, for keeping to your words. 

Even the young and old came out for support 
A protester at the world bank Dc

More supporters

Add caption






Saturday, January 7, 2012

#Occupy Nigeria

Protests have been going on home and abroad. Yesterday, a protest was held at the Nigerian Embassy in London. Nigerians came out in numbers at the Nigerian Embassy in London to show support for the removal of fuel subsidy. People came out in full support to let their voices be heard, under the cold weather.

Plans are being made here in the States to start a protest at the Nigerian Embassy in New York and World Bank in Washington Dc respectively. 
The Washington demonstration will hold outside the World Bank at 1818 H St Nw, Washington Dc on Monday the 9th of Jan 2012, 12pm; while New York will be at 828 2nd Ave, New York. The NY rally starts on the 10th. 
Please come prepared, support us on this, and let our Voices be heard once more. 
NB: PLEASE BE ON TIME (INCLUDING ME) NO AFRICAN TIME OOO LOL
A member of the Nigerian Bar Association holds up a placard to protest a fuel subsidy removal in Lagos January 5, 2012. (Akintunde Akinleye/Courtesy Reuters)
A member of the Nigerian Bar Association 
Even Mr. Dele Momodu came out fully dressed and ready to protest
Protester at the Nigerian Embassy In London











Nollywood Stars voice their support for Goodluck Jonathan (WHERE ARE THEY)



Our voices have been taken away by the sound and cries of lies.
 We were promised a better future
Good roads,
Better Education
A better 2012
All we hear are the cries of the innocent
All we see are the blood and bodies of our loved ones been shed and scattered on the streets
Even the ants can smell our fears
With the crises going on in Nigeria
We still lack a good medical facility.
Our voices have been taken away by the sound of cries and lies
Now is the time to get back our voice
What was being promised to us
Our better Nigeria
What happened to "LEADERS OF TOMORROW"?
They are killed before their dreams could be attained.
We need a better Nigeria
We want Our country back........

Friday, January 6, 2012

Questions that need answers

Ever since President Good-luck Jonathan became president, the Nigerian economy has been going down hill. The good luck everyone claims he possessed  from high school even to the death of Ya'rdua has finally finished. Because, he is being referred to as Nigeria's BADLUCK. From the to rising of Kidnappers in the east, to the religious threat of Boko Haram in the north, to the increase of fuel price across the nation.

My question is;
1. Do you think President Jonathan should be impeached?
2.If you voted for him in the last year's election, any regrets?
3.Do you think Goodluck has run out of LUCK?
4. If you are an adviser to the president now, what advice would you give him now at the moment?

I have no title for this post, but all I can say is THIS IS GETTING WAY OUT OF HAND. Why do this evil ones keep killing the innocent ones.
Another killing was reported just yesterday in Gombe State, at a Deeper Life Church. Also the pastor's wife was also confirmed dead, among 6 others.
However, the ugly development has sent fear down the spine of residents of the area.


Members of the Depper life Church killed in Gombe 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Pictures for the week

Pictures are taken for memories, good or bad; happy or sad. Here are some which I managed to collect.





Protect ur gas
 



Says it all


The lives of the youth are being wasted because of the wickedness of our leaders.  This has to come to an end


A man appealed to protesters not to burn down a gas station. My question to all the protesters, So if una burn down all the gas stations in Nigeria, when fuel price drop where una wan buy fuel? Think be4 u act.
 
A protester sets fire on a major road in Lagos. Isnt this protest supposed to be a peaceful one?




Najia no go spoil oo







The wife of late Nigerian human rights activist Gani Fawehinmi shouts slogans during a protest against fuel subsidy removal on Ikorodu road in Nigeria's commercial capital Lagos January 3, 2012. Hundreds of demonstrators in Nigeria's commercial capital Lagos shut petrol stations, formed human barriers along motorways and hijacked buses on Tuesday in protest against the shock doubling of fuel prices after a government subsidy was removed






HABA... UNA DEY CALL UR PRESIDENT A TERRORIST LMAO... I JUST COULDN'T HELP BUT LAUGH





#occupy Nigeria
Even Mr Capable himself no gree. Boys are not smiling ooo 

HAAAAAAA...... 


Where una dey na? An attendant sleeps off wating for orders to start selling fuel   

I WEEP FOR MY NATION